---

The universe must really hate me. It does not want my past to exist. No matter what I try, no matter what I do, this hard drive situation just does NOT want to cooperate!

No more than mere minutes after my previous blog entry did I get bitten again. This time harder than the first time. Jesus, WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?! I was moving some files around after successfully establishing RAID 1 and -POP!- a message came up telling me an event had been detected by the RAID controller. I looked at its log and it said the primary master device (MY MAIN DRIVE!) on adapter 0 was dropped due to a port error ("Request Timed Out"). The file system appeared to be intact, as I was still able to navigate around, so I figured a reboot would be enough to correct the problem.

Reboot.

The OS loads once again to reveal its characteristic NOTHING where my data used to be. GOD DAMN FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!! So, now I'm back to data recovery mode. However, I want nothing to do with it. I am so convinced that this is a sign. Maybe my past isn't worth it. Something is trying to kill it. Something is trying to prevent me from spending any time with it (or, perhaps, is trying to get me to WASTE ALL OF MY TIME with it). So, now I'm thinking, what the hell is my life all about, anyway? Why did I spend so much of it creating shit that is just going to get flushed in the end? Apparently, I will outlive my creations. Fuck technology! It has been such a waste of my life and I have nothing to show for it.

Fuck it.

Fuck it raw.

About all computers are good for is wasting time. They rank right up there with television. Anyway, I have spent the last couple of hours digging shit out of my shop and throwing it away and putting it in boxes for the thrift store and the yard sale next week. I loaded a ton of CRAP in my car to drop of at the thrift store tomorrow. Good riddance. I'll also be unloading some MORE CRAP at the recycling center, and possibly tossing EVEN MORE CRAP into any empty garbage cans I can find.

I'm tired of the past hanging around. It is time to let it be forgotten. All I want are my model airplanes and a place to fly them. I don't go to the robotics club anymore (too frustrating). I don't tinker a whole lot with electronics anymore (too complicated). I never talk on my ham radio (what would I say except, "FUCK YOU BILL GATES YOU FUCKING USELESS ASSHOLE SHIT HEAD DORK ORIFICE!"). And then I would lose my amateur radio license. All I can think that I really want to do, is fly. Today, I realized there are times when there is simply no room for a sense of humor. Mine completely ran out. I guess there comes a time in [every?] man's life when he needs to just say, "get the FUCK out of my way!" and mean it.

WHO KNOWS, FOLKS?! This could be the end of my Computer Circus blog. I have no intentions of pursuing my data recovery efforts anymore. I'm just not caring about my past right now. Maybe that will change in time, and maybe there will come a time when I am willing to spend my time in another recovery effort, but right now, the time has come to put it aside for some time. After all, time is what it is all about. And computers rob me of that. I guess free time is a precious resource. I wouldn't know, however - I'VE NEVER SEEN ANY!!! Getting off this damn thing will be a new experience for me. I can't wait for my ebay auctions to end!